down the rabbit hole

‘Sup lurkers! Has it really been almost two months since my last post? Fuck! No wonder why Daddy is annoyed with me.

So what’s the deal? Nothing really. Just caught up in the vanilla world. Work. Kids. Bills. Chores. Bridesmaid duty. And of course, Him. The month of May was hella crazy for me. So much so that i had not realized i haven’t made an entry in a while. Daddy had to remind me. Twice. i’m sure i am going to pay for that dearly in the future.

Anyway, back to today. i was car dancing to an old-school hip hop radio station when an old favorite came on by Salt-n-Pepa, Let’s Talk about Sex. It’s been in my head all afternoon and i thought it would be good theme for today’s entry.

Let’s talk about sex baby

More specifically, let me talk about our sex. If i were to come up with one word to describe sex with Daddy, it would be… erudition.

Before Him, i thought i knew most of what i had to know about sex. i had married young and most of what i knew was through my first husband. i was married to my ex for ten years, but it wasn’t until after my divorce that i had taken control of my sexuality. Through self-discovery and (later) dating, i discovered what i did and didn’t like and what got me off (and what didn’t). i was less self-conscious and more confident about my skills. i was on my way to being sexually liberated. Or so i thought…

Let’s talk about Him and me

Enter my Beloved. A man who i have had an unrequited crush on for years, and now a man who has pursued me and wooed me into submission. i knew our sex life would be different because He appealed to my submissive side. At least, the vanilla definition of submission that i knew of at the time. When He stated that He was dominant, i mistakenly thought of it as a descriptor of Himself, like spouting off a personality trait.

It wasn’t until the first time we had sex that i realized that He was a Dominant, as a definition of Himself. Our first time turned out to be our first scene, albeit a very mild one. That little taste became my addiction. My first journey down the rabbit hole.

Not that i am trying to suck up to the Teacher, but let me just say this right off the bat: that first time was fucking amazing. Having sex with a new partner can sometimes be a little awkward; a new couple is learning each other’s bodies and learning a new rhythm with each other. However, in that first dance, Daddy was amazing from the very first.

i realized yet again that i didn’t know shit. i feel like a virgin every time i am with Him. He has taught me so much and i know He isn’t even close to being finished. i feel like a chalkboard, recently wiped clean and ready for new notes on the board.

Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be

i suppose that was in the art of His seduction, as He penetrated my mind first. He was in total control from the very first step, already into my training as His slave, something He saw in me before i did. Surrendering to His will turned out to be the most liberating thing i had ever done. And when He finally entered me, i was completely over the edge, never to return again.

He made a mark on me that night. He did mark me, claimed me as His. i knew then that no one else would be able to make an impact on me like He did, like He does. i knew that even in the remote possibility of us not being together, no one will be able to move me, claim me. i am forever ruined. Now until forever, i am His.

Let’s talk about sex


My favorite scene so far? Daddy used a belt to bind my wrists together and another belt around my neck as a makeshift collar and leash. It awakened a new love. Being bound, led around by Him like that, set every nerve on fire. He fucked me properly that day and i haven’t forgot it.


i now fantasize about other ways to be bound to Him, figuratively and literally. He intoxicates me, down to my core. Daddy has turned into my drug, but without the bad side effects.

Every time we play, i go under, drown in Him. Fall forever. Further into that rabbit hole. And i’m not coming back.

2 thoughts on “down the rabbit hole

    • i have learned that He is the light that shines bright within me. The light of purpose, desire and release. He is my first, last and everything in between.


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