minding me and mine

Hello lurkers! Pretty kitti lihi is back! i have been unwell for a while, but surgery can’t keep a good kitti down!

My topic today may ruffle a few feathers, given the current racial climate going on in the States right now. i am talking about interracial dating. Yes, i think it’s very silly that people still find a problem with people dating people whose skin doesn’t match, especially since our predilections within the BDSM community are outside societal norms anyway.

Daddy and i do not match. He is white, i am black. Even further, He is Jewish, i am a non-denominational Christian. Whether it’s our skin or our religion, we are bound to turn heads (and already have). It is something that one is expected to endure if they go outside the norm, much like BDSM.

i have been down for the swirl all my life. i have crushed on boys all over the rainbow growing up. My main celebrity crush was Matthew Lawrence for like two years, only to be replaced by Billy Zane for six years after that. The guy i lost my virginity to was Latino. It was only once i became an adult that i just dated black guys because that was what was expected of me. i even married a black guy. But once that was over, i realized that i wanted to be happy. And if i wanted to have a happy, healthy and successful marriage in the future, i was going to be open to all possibilities.

It wasn’t like i didn’t like other racial backgrounds. It was never their skin color that attracted me to men in the first place. It was how great their smile was, the way their eyes looked while conversing with me, how spectacular their beard was (#TeamPogonophile). i am drawn to their sense of humor and their charisma, how well they treated people who were not their equals, and how well they stimulated me mentally (#TeamSapiophile).

Thus, i have been dating interracially exclusively ever since. i tend to date white men more, but i am still open to any, at least until i became complete with my Dom. But unfortunately, something that i will have to endure (that I will never accept) is that people don’t love the way i do. Some people find it so offensive that i choose to date who i want to date.

And most of the flack comes from black men, which makes the irony stupendous, as black men are much more likely to date interracially than black women are. But it still doesn’t stop them from making comments or giving me glares when i am out with my Beau.

And that leaves me to the point of this entry. One of the main arguments black men have is that the only reason why white men want black women is because they fetishize us. i cannot and will not speak for all white men here but i will say that is absolutely not true. There are exceptions to the rule but those are usually to spot and avoid.

Now on to Daddy and i. My interracial relationship with Him is a bit different. Yes, it is my only D/s relationship. But because of that, i am more open, more alive. i feel wholly naked with Him; i hide nothing from Daddy. So i feel more on display with Him, feel one with Him.

As i feel complete with my Dom, i proudly walk with Him at His side. i bask in the glow of His approval. Some call it love, but it’s so much more than that. Daddy completes me and i now know a peace i have never known before. And with this inner peace, i have learned to no longer give a second thought of what other people think about my love life.

Don’t get me wrong, i never really cared before. Anyone who ever looked at me cross-eyed would get a middle finger from me. But at the back of my mind, a part of me would be concerned that something would happen that would threaten our safety.

i no longer worry about this. i know down to my soul that my Dom will protect my body and my honor. And if anything crazy should go down, i know i have nothing to worry about. He will defend us with His intellect but can use physical force if necessary.

But the greater threat are not strangers, but your friends and loved ones. i cannot absolutely say i don’t care what my friends and family think, as their opinions do matter to me. But if their opinions are coming from a bigoted view then i don’t need them. Besides, i have Daddy and He’s everything I need anyway.

Being with Him, i transcend all preconceptions that others try to put on us. When i look at Him, i do not see a white man loving a black woman. i see a Man with His woman, a Dom with His sub. He is my Sun, my Moon and my Stars. And i… am His.

i am not looking for anyone’s approval; only His matters. What others think is their business. Going forward, i am minding me and mine.

Stay safe and kinky my friends,

kitti lihi


One thought on “minding me and mine

  1. Hi! I love this piece! I can totally relate! I am married to a white man, My Sir! So we face those stares too. It took me a while to not let it bother me. That I am not looking for anyones approval. As long as we are happy, thats all that matters. I look forward to reading more of your writings!


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